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Dropinceo > Blog > 2021 > December

My family and I were vacationing in Nice, France three years ago. I had the responsibility of checking us into the hotel because I spoke French. As I listened intently to the check in process, I was a bit nervous to ensure I understood them as well as formulating a response that would be understood. When I spoke to the receptionist, they responded with delight and asked if I was Canadian as my French was very good. I said I was American and they said they sincerely appreciated my effort. It was not typical for Americans to speak to them in French nor make the effort.  They suggested we switch to English for the remainder of the transaction and they were exceptionally helpful to settle us in.

Language is the vehicle to exchange information and achieve a result. Language is built on a foundation of history and culture unique to a group of people. When we seek to understand that foundation and leverage language to engage, we build trust and can move forward together.

Leadership has its own language based on the group we are meant to serve. The quicker we can learn that unique language, the faster we can make a lasting impact.

The Language of Simplicity: Keep it simple and people will thank you. 

A colleague and I had the honor and challenge of teaching an international group of professionals in Benicarlo Spain. We were teaching Six Sigma Methodology and I was given the task of explaining ANOVA (Analysis of Variation) and do it in a way that was concise and easy to understand. My colleague had other sections of equally challenging content to teach. When we broke for lunch and I sat down with the students, what transpired next is the key to connection through language. They said they liked my colleague very much, but when they spoke they used American English which was full of slang and they could not understand him. They said when I spoke, it was very simple and they could easily process the technical content and translate more easily with me. They thanked me for speaking proper English because I enabled them in the learning process. 

The important message is to understand your audience and speak in a language that enables them to process new information and gives them the power to engage in conversation. That is how we create connection and trust. When we speak at a level where they cannot process all the words or expressions, we break their confidence and fail to connect. As leaders, by keeping things simple we create better connections. 

The Language of the Locals – They’ll pick you up when you stumble and fall.

During a product transfer for a flavor company from Ireland to the Netherlands, I was interacting with many Dutch colleagues in the factory to enable that process. The Dutch speak exceptional English so it was easy to work with them. It was also important to me to try to learn words and expressions in Dutch so I could read their technical content and also listen to conversations in their native language. When I would respond with a few simple phrases, they were helpful to make corrections to enable me to continue to learn.

In business, we go into many situations where the technical language, the acronyms and words are foreign to us. When we speak in our own language, it takes longer to bring the conversations together and stalls the trust we need to build.  It is better to be vulnerable and start to use the other group’s language and make mistakes. When we ask simple questions to explain their unique language, the team is eager to help and in the process it builds trust. When we start using their language, we move the conversation along faster and together. 

The Language of the Body: Learn the culture for clues into human connection.

Singapore is a beautiful country and yet again I had the good fortune to teach an international group of colleagues. This time people came to us from Indonesia, India, Thailand, China and Japan who spoke various levels of English. This time, the challenge was not to speak in concise English, but to read what was said… and not said. Our students listened intently to every word we said and took copious notes. When we would take a pause in the training to ask if people had questions, there was silence in the room.

As an instructor, doubt ran through my head. Did we teach it so well, there were no questions? Did we teach it and no one understood what we said? It was very hard to read the situation, but we continued to move forward in hopes we were making an impact. 

During a team dinner, I was able to speak to one of the students to ask what they thought of the training. They said they were enjoying it very much and were eager to apply for the training when they returned to their country. This gave me permission to ask the next question about why the students were not asking questions. They responded that in their culture, they do not question the teacher. It is their responsibility to work harder to understand the material on their own. It would bring shame to them if they asked a question. 

Had I known that beforehand, we might have restructured the training. We could have provided some knowledge and then asked the students to work in small groups. Then I could listen to their knowledge level and provide additional clarification where I saw gaps in their comprehension. 

The lesson for leadership is to not assume comprehension amongst the team. We need to take the responsibility to ensure we read the body language and cultural norms to know if people will speak up when there is doubt. While difficult for some leaders, we need to slow down in order to speed up and bring others along with us. Language is meant to connect people. 

Every room you enter is an opportunity to learn a new language and build human connection.

Your willingness regardless of your performance level is what humanizes you to your team. Your team will help you in learning the new language and work with you to create a new language together. 

Starting today, think about what new project or team will you impact and ask yourself what language will you need to learn? 

If this makes sense, but you’d like to learn more about applying these principles to your situation, you can email medirect message me on linkedin or simply grab a few minutes on my calendar.  

I find through casual conversation leveraging The CEOs Compass often has all the answers for you to get back on track. 

The CEO’s Compass: Your Guide to Get Back on Track – If you’re that leader who feels in their gut something is off track, this could be the resource for you.

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Resources

Good Reads

LINGO: Discover Your Ideal Customer’s Secret Language and Make Your Business Irresistible – by Jeffrey Shaw   I’m a big fan of leveraging marketing and messaging to people I want to connect with. That is why I’ve leveraged an amazing marketing team that helps me to connect with you and my ideal client. When we learn the other person’s language we build human connection. This book by Jeffrey Shaw was very helpful as a business book, but it’s also important for the aspiring leader within an organization. Enjoy!

Good Music

Future World Music – Anthem of the World by Kai Hansen – it is only fitting I share a favorite song that is a celebration of cultures. I love this song because it is so simple and  uplifting. If we seek to understand individual cultures  and their language we can make beautiful music together. Enjoy!

Good Advice

This episode will be released on Friday 12/31/21 and I wanted to give you a glimpse into Earl Breon’s quote. It speaks to the reliance of a leader on their team to help them be successful. 

“You have to have a unique blend of believing that you can do whatever you need to do, but also know in the back of your mind that there’s a time when you will need to rely on the team.” 

–Earl Breon

 Listen and subscribe now: 

P.S. We will be out of the office 12/24/21-1/3/22. We wish  you a safe, happy & healthy Holiday.

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1970

Deb: Why is the Sky Blue? 

Adult: Why do you ask so many questions?

1982

Deb: How will I use the Pythagorean Theorem in everyday life?

Teacher: Can you see me after class, we have to get through this lesson!

2009

Deb: Shouldn’t this be our decision on who to hire for this position

Boss: You shouldn’t have asked that question!

2021

Deb: Before we get to the tactical details of running this meeting, shouldn’t we land on the outcome we want to achieve?

Colleague: Ahh, Ahh, you’re right, we should!

Asking so many questions has and always been my way of seeking to understand the world around me and navigating situations in front of me.

Why then does this superpower often collide with the world and people see it as an annoyance?  Challenging the status quo is not taught in our society as much as it should be and stifles creativity and higher levels of understanding. Compliance is mainstream because if you fall in line you won’t realize the backlash or conflict. Without this skill, people fall victim to the status quo and never learn how to ask better questions of themselves, others and society. 

I was recently at a networking event for which colleagues were sharing stories of not getting ahead due to lack of equal opportunity in the workplace. While I believe there are challenges in front of us, I was saddened to see the acceptance of the perceived obstacle. They were not asking deeper questions of why they thought the problem existed and even more upsetting was lacking the confidence to find ways out of the current situation.

When we allow ourselves and others around us to fall into acceptance, we stagnate our progress and our teams.  If you don’t, the people who look up to you will perpetuate the cycle of accepting the status quo and will also fall victim to narratives they believe. If you are an aspiring C-Suite leader, let me share with you my best tips to break out of the status quo and be the leader who asks better questions.

Have courage to ask questions that others won’t ask

If you don’t understand something, more than likely others will not understand as well. I recently asked the board of one of my professional societies a question. In the flurry of year end planning, people were deliberating details. I asked the question, “what do we want to be known for as a chapter?” to which people said I was right, we should answer that first. I said when we can define who we want to be as a chapter, we can make better decisions about the details. 

When you take the courageous position of asking “why”, you gain clarity and your silent colleagues will thank you as well. When you take a risk, others will be attracted to you and also learn important skills by modeling your behavior. I once had a personal trainer say something to me about risk-taking. He said, “what do you have to lose? You might actually be successful.”

With that suggestion, I err on the side of causing conflict because in the end I have engaged in conversation. Ultimately, we want people to interact in healthy dialog to achieve an outcome or decision. We want harmony and unified levels of performance in our workplace. When people don’t understand something or can’t relate it to their situation, over time compliance wanes or teams are misaligned. When we ask better questions and gain consensus or a unified outcome, team performance is higher. So what do you have to lose? Ask a better question, you gain clarity. Ask an even better question, you gain followers. 

Ask questions to get to the truth faster

Back in 2010 when I was getting impatient for a promotion I asked my boss to help me define my career path. They were honest with me that for my role, there was not a clear path to promotion. They offered me the advice that I was free to look elsewhere in the organization for opportunities. That truth short circuited a cycle of potential frustration; wondering if I would be recognized for my accomplishments and would be offered a promotion or new position. In that moment, I realized the truth and had information that enabled me to navigate to different roles. I saved months and possibly years of waiting and frustration. What I did was take control and have the courage to ask the question. A year later, I was working for a different company. 

The point I want to make here is so many aspiring C-suite leaders wait and hope. That simply doesn’t work and you’re losing the best years of your life. When you take the chance and ask a simple question, you gain back years of your life. If you’re nervous, the best advice I have is to write it down on a post it note or an index card (if they still use these!). 

Challenge the status quo to regain control

I’m often asked if I am a fractional CEO, COO or fractional (fill in the blanks) to which I say no; I’m the Drop In CEO. I catch people off guard, because they can’t put me in a box for which I fall in line with the sea of people doing the same thing. When we allow others to put us in a box, we are not seen, heard or respected.

When I respond that I’m the Drop In CEO, I become the leader that organization or team needs at that time and place in their journey. It challenges the status quo, but it makes me interested in which people want to learn more. It’s a lonely journey to position yourself differently, but over time, alternative thinking becomes interesting and in the long term, people will follow you to new lands vs. crowded spaces.

If having followers is not important to you, then the greater outcome of thinking differently is taking back the balance of power to control your situation. When people put you in a box, you have to fight to get out of it and prove your value. When you build the box and stand on it, people will come over and see how you constructed the box you’re standing on. You become interesting and you become the person people will ask more questions. As an aspiring C-Suite leader, challenging the status quo gives you the power you need to get ahead and stand out. 

Challenging the status quo is a lonely journey, but it’s liberating. Think about when you remained quiet and festered over a situation. You lost minutes, days or months of your precious life on earth. When you challenge the status quo and stand out as different, you speed up your ability to navigate your career. Ultimately you become the leader others will follow. You become the person you want to be and do the things you want to do with complete confidence. Does this sound better than falling in line? 

So what are you waiting for?  Five seconds have passed and you’ll never gain it back. What questions do you have that need to be asked? What ideas do you want to present that may change the course of your situation? Are you going to take control and change the balance of power in your favor? Let me know how it works out, I can’t wait to see where you take your career.

If this makes sense, but you’d like to learn more about applying these principles to your situation, you can email medirect message me on linkedin or simply grab a few minutes on my calendar.  

I find through casual conversation leveraging The CEOs Compass often has all the answers for you to get back on track. 

The CEO’s Compass: Your Guide to Get Back on Track – If you’re that leader who feels in their gut something is off track, this could be the resource for you.

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Resources

Good Reads

Stand out by Dorie Clark I’ve shared this resource before with you, but it’s in this season that you should think about who you are and who you are meant to be in the coming year. You are talented and courageous, but still unsure about the future. Take control and think about how will you stand out and be different than the pack. What questions will you ask that challenge the status quo. What stake in the ground will you make towards building your stand out statement in 2022. Be inspired and be great!

Good Music

When Leaves Dance by Shoshan Michel – this peace is calming as it sounds like the transition from fall to winter. It’s light and airy but also deep in emotion. As we reflect on 2021, I ask you to think about what went well and what will you bring forward into 2022. It’s a time of closure and new beginnings. Slow down and reflect as you listen to this song. Be inspired to be the leader you want to be for yourself, your team, your family and community. 

Good Advice

“It’s not about how many contacts you make anymore. It’s about how deep you go on each conversation.” – Ari Galper  

 Listen and subscribe now: 

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I was leaving a networking breakfast in February of 2019 and was racing to a dentist appointment when I was hit by a car. I and the other driver were fine, but talk about being shaken up for a few hours. The car was towed and later replaced. While I count my blessings that things turned out okay, I was not okay. One of the contributing factors to this unfortunate event was I was racing. Just as I was racing away from what I hated in my corporate life, I was repeating the behavior in my entrepreneurial life. Does this sound familiar to you? Let’s continue this conversation and dig deeper into why we need to change as leaders.

If you are reading this, you are most likely a high performer. Just like a dog is rewarded with treats for good behavior, so is the leader who is rewarded for execution at the highest level. We are lulled into a false sense of satisfaction only to move onto the next thing that feeds that instant gratification until we keel over from eating too many treats. It’s called burnout, lack of motivation, loss of confidence, feeling lost; it manifests in so many ways. Most important for you to realize why you arrived at this place and the importance to change, but how? We are not taught how to change this behavior until we crash and the behavioral change is forced upon us. Still sound familiar? Then this is what I propose we do to change this behavior: 

You are in control of your schedule; book an hour a week to pause & reflect.

We’re not going to start meditation or a yoga class with this one hour, but the intent is to simply teach you to not schedule every minute of your day. Don’t even multitask and listen to a podcast while walking the dog. The mind needs air to allow new thoughts to flow out of it vs. forever putting in more data that may clutter clear thinking. You may start randomly thinking about what friends you’ll invite over for the weekend. You’ll think about that doctor appointment you’ve been putting off. You may even remember to call a friend to reconnect. 

These have nothing to do with your business or career, but it’s about starting a practice of taking back time for yourself. I may even go as far as don’t schedule exercise except for maybe walking. It’s about breaking the behavior of thinking you’re productive when the most productive thing you can do is rest the brain and allow new thoughts to flow. I know it’s hard, but you’re a high achiever, so I’m sure you can master this one! Book the hour now!

Look back in the rear view mirror and ask yourself what went well in 2021.

The simple act of backing up in your car; using either the rear view mirror or camera is a deliberate activity done slowly to ensure you are safe and kind to people and physical property. The same deliberate activity bodes well when you look at what you have done in 2021. While programmed to start planning your 2022 goals, the wisdom gained by reflecting on what went well in 2021 slows the mind down to realize what should you continue, start doing or change. 

As an example, in 2021 I evolved The Drop In CEO Brand and wrote my book The CEO’s Compass to put a stake in the ground as my area of expertise. I will continue to do that and start engaging more with my network to expand the community and reach to people I can serve. I will change the amount of time I’m in certain networking organizations because there is no long term value to my brand while spending more time in others. 

What might your reflections on 2021 be in the context of what to continue, what to start doing and what to change? Slow down, don’t go to the next section until you write a few notes on what 2021 was like and what you will bring forward.

Slow down more and minimize the casualties. 

The side effect of being a high performer has an exponential impact that can be hazardous to yourself, your employees and the community around them. When you can’t demonstrate leadership in slowing down, you burn out your team and erode the community structure around your employees. Sounds harsh, but it’s a reality that leaders don’t see unless they slow down. 

What would it look like if you scanned your email hourly, but only responded to them in the morning and at the end of the day (for 90% of email, this is just fine). Do you send email out on the weekend or schedule them to only go out Monday morning? Do you set up meetings at 8:00 am and up to 4:00 pm each day. Does this make sense as these are times when employees can be dealing with early day urgent matters or thinking about evening activities? 

You create chaos in the lives of others when you don’t prioritize activity and when activity takes place. This can only change when you slow down and think about how your leadership and activity level impacts the lives of many, many people. So my best advice is to slow down, think about whether you react or respond to situations and what is most important to get done that day, when on that day or maybe next week. 

When we exercise the muscle of restraint to not get everything done now, your discipline in slowing down is felt by many in the employee ecosystem. It’s not a popular decision and the old guard may perceive this as lazy, not performing at the highest level and maybe losing confidence in you as a leader. I propose to you and say, this is the courage we must take as leaders to recognize the value of slowing down. 

When we slow down, we show discipline and better decision logic in what we do and when we do it. And if we can’t get everything done, we should question if all activity was really necessary in the grand scheme of achieving your goals and those of the team. Leaders must show courage when doing the right thing and not what is expected by others. In the end your people will respect you and you will be the one they follow… because you slowed down.

If this makes sense, but you’d like to learn more about applying these principles to your situation, you can email medirect message me on linkedin or simply grab a few minutes on my calendar.  

I find through casual conversation leveraging The CEOs Compass often has all the answers for you to get back on track. 

The CEO’s Compass: Your Guide to Get Back on Track – If you’re that leader who feels in their gut something is off track, this could be the resource for you.

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Resources

Good Reads

In the spirit of the article to slow down, I’ve not been reading the  last few weeks. I have been thinking about what I’ve accomplished and given my mind air to let things flow out and give thought to the coming year. Good reads are helpful for inspiration, but at the moment, inspiration must come from within before we can move forward. I propose you take a moment or an hour to read what is inside your mind. There can be an amazing story worth reading. 

Good Music

Loyalty Remains by Veigar Margeirsson – when you listen to this song, there are images of a warrior riding a horse on rugged terrain towards a destiny. They briefly look back at where they’ve come from and then look forward to where they’re going. At this time of year, it’s important to realize your victories and those to be created. Enjoy this uplifting piece. 

Good Advice

“Because we are high-performers, so much of what we curate ourselves into is based on what we think the world expects. And that is a sure recipe to lose yourself.” -Tevis Trower

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Have you ever changed your personal leadership style to what was expected to only realize it was not you that needed to change, but the community in which you serve? 

I once was advised to consider changing my “presence” and when I did, while it was interesting to some, it was not favored by others. That left me wondering if I was wrong in my approach, which impacted my confidence. Then I noticed a few people in my community started to gravitate towards the changes in my leadership style to which I realized I needed to change both in order to thrive as a leader. 

This is a challenge for a leader to make this realization as we’re programmed to press forward in our environment to make things work. However, the highly aware leader will take the time for self reflection to understand who they are as a leader, why they lead and how they will lead perhaps differently to get a different outcome. No amount of leadership books, courses or podcasts are going to enable you to be more effective until you realize what your leadership style is and only then can you move forward. I discuss this in the first chapter of my book The CEO’s Compass, impressing that every leader must pause first (I know slowing down is hard for us!), but it’s a necessary first step to understand the changes you need to make personally and then in how you serve others.

Realize who you serve is not you or the organization, but those in your care. 

Once I realized why I lead and how I was going to lead differently, I had to step out of my comfort zone to try new things. This takes a lot of courage because you won’t be at the top of your game anymore when it comes to perfection & efficiency; you’re going to stumble, but ultimately find out what works. I realized my meetings were too efficient and left no time to check in with my team on how they felt and what were their challenges. As soon as I started with What is working well and also what is not working, I started making stronger human connections and realized how I could serve my team to achieve results vs. driving results; a significant change in leadership style.

The meaning of presence; the great aha moment.

Remember earlier a colleague shared I needed to have more presence, but offered little guidance to what that meant. At first I thought it was to get a new wardrobe and I was better groomed with my hair & makeup. They shared with me that  it was about having key talking points each time I showed up, but there was no mentorship offered to evolve that skill. It was only later when I sought the input of an image consultant that presence was a complete package that started with consistency & quality of messaging. Oh, I wish I had found this person earlier in my career and who knows how it could have impacted my impact! 

It goes back to spending time with yourself as a leader and curating all the values & grounding talking points to which you deeply believe in and are the reasons you do what you do. Only then, (and by the way this is personal branding at the core) do you start evolving the external expression of these core values in how you communicate and connect with others. Once that messaging is honed in, you make minor changes in how you dress and groom that matches the messaging you wish to make with your community. 

Once I started showing up with a consistent set of values, talking points and my physical presence matching, people started to listen more and gravitate to my work and leadership. This advice was gold to me and if you’d like to know more about how to apply this to your situation, please reach out! I’d love to spread the wealth!

In the end, its more than what you do as a leader, but leaving a lasting impact

Up until now, I’ve shared with you simple changes in leadership style (aka brand) that move you from serving the business results to one that is creating connection with your community. That is incredibly important to ground you in the here and now.What leaders don’t often realize is the future impact of their work through these micro changes and how your work will far outlast the time you spent in the present. 

Leaders need to express their thought leadership beyond the confines of the organization.  When leaders only support the company brand, there is a missed opportunity to the existing community connected ecosystem. This is greater than visiting with customers or speaking at town halls or shareholder meetings. Once those forums no longer exist, so does the legacy of your leadership. When leaders who have come into their own and realize their thought leadership is far reaching beyond the boardroom, they serve an ever greater community and their legacy is more likely to be impactful.

Take 5% of your time to write an article. Speak at an industry event. Start being a podcast guest and engage in community service events. Increase the number of people you can impact.

The investment is clear; people want to align with people that align with their values. Investing in the community creates trust and then people want to be apart of you and the company you lead. By having the courage to share your thoughts with a greater community, you are destined to leave an impact for generations to come. 

Now I want you to pause and reflect on what I have shared. Do you work only to get a result? Or, do you work to leave a lasting impact? The answer is in you to take the time to develop your personal leadership brand. Once you have done that, you will find amazing strength and confidence in how you show up. That renewed energy then draws you into a new level of performance of being in service to others and inspiring others to do their best work. Now ask yourself if this is how you want to be remembered? 

If this makes sense, but you’d like to learn more about applying these principles to your situation, you can email medirect message me on linkedin or simply grab a few minutes on my calendar.  

I find through casual conversation leveraging The CEOs Compass often has all the answers for you to get back on track. 

The CEO’s Compass: Your Guide to Get Back on Track – If you’re that leader who feels in their gut something is off track, this could be the resource for you.

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Resources

Good Reads

Due to the Thanksgiving holiday in the US, I spent more time with my family and did not have time to read. Did you recently read something you’d like to share with others? Let me know what was a good read and why and we’ll highlight it next week in our newsletter. 

Good Music

Florence by Kevin Penkin  Did I ever mention to you I have a habit of procrastination? Or maybe it’s inspiration comes to me only when I take the time to listen to music such as this piece called Florence. It’s uplifting and playful and motivates me into a creative space. The entire album by Kevin is a great for inspiration. Let me know what you think!

Good Advice 

“Everybody has the skills to be successful at what they need to do to get the final outcome. It’s all about building that capability from the C-suite down.”

–Mitchell Levy

Listen and subscribe now:

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