“I’m sorry, but we have to dismiss you.” I looked across the table at the employee I was letting go saw their face fall. They replied, “just tell me what to do and I’ll do it!”
I dreaded that moment and felt unprepared for the conversation. As leaders, we only want to think about the growth side of teamwork, the nurturing and guiding aspects of creating team partnerships.
It’s when we’re faced with the decision to end a work relationship that waters get murky. Far deeper than this transaction, I didn’t have a framework to have difficult conversations about their performance that led up to this event. I avoided conversations that discussed the gap in performance and had a forward-facing plan to close those gaps. In that way, the old phrase of “having a difficult conversation,” moves to one to have a conversation for alignment.
Having a conversation for alignment
In my upcoming episode 218 releasing Friday 4/15, I take the anguish out of difficult conversations and give you a map to align on gaps and move forward together. They often don’t teach this to you in school and if you’re lucky, maybe you’ll see someone model this behavior. But until you do, the task is mysterious and scary for which you may be unprepared.
In my Drop In C-Suite Academy, we discuss the below framework and then we practice until you build the skill you need. It starts with:
- Identify the person you want to align with
- Visualize the outcome
- Discuss the gap
- Seek to understand why there is a gap
- Go first in offering an action you can take to close the gap
- Ask for them to commit to an action and close the gap
- Move forward together and repeat.
A key component of this framework is to “visualize the outcome.” Once we start with the end in mind, every step we take moves us one step closer to what we want to achieve. It also allows us to be a servant leader; going first to offer an action you can take from a personal accountability perspective. It could be in sharing information, setting up more frequent 1-2-1’s with them, setting up a call with a key stakeholder; anything that shows your commitment to the relationship.
The other key element on why this works is it takes away the “mystery of the unknown” of having a difficult conversation to one that slows down the process. It enables you to exchange information and move through what is perceived as difficult to one that is productive.
Now think of a situation you would like to try this on. Take the key points and write them down so you have them when you have that conversation for alignment. As for myself; I recognize difficult conversations now as opportunities to close gaps. I find 80-90% of the time these conversations build greater understanding and it’s no longer about perception, but about realities of aligning with other people.
The guide below can be useful. Click on the image to also download it for your use.
Building new skills takes practice and I want to be there for you. We cover this framework in our Drop In C-Suite Academy which is still accepting students for enrollment. If you would prefer a 1-2-1 approach, I can also offer my coaching services.
For more information about The Drop In C-Suite Academy (CS) dedicated to the aspiring C-Suite leader, simply register to get on the waitlist, email me or connect with me for a quick chat. I can’t wait to help you be successful and reach your goals!
For more resources, you can listen to The Drop In CEO Podcast or check out my book The CEO’s Compass will help you get on track in days not months.
Resources
Good Reads
Climbing The Right Mountain: Navigating the Journey to An Inspired Life by Tony Martignetti – I started this book a month ago, but now that I’m officially signing off on vacation shortly, I’m finally enjoying his rich words and validation for the work I’m doing now. I sincerely hope you get a copy and see if you are climbing the right mountain.
Good Music
New beginning – Luke Faulkner –
I share this song with you because of it’s special meaning to me. New Beginning – I’m now sitting at our friends home in Naples Florida before departing on a much needed vacation and cruise. It was hear a little more than a year ago, I was finishing my book “The CEO’s Compass” and putting out messages and insights for the world to receive. I know it was the book I needed to write and the beginning of having a broader impact. Similarly, the Drop In C-Suite Academy is also a new beginning. I’m speaking to students and building my enrollment for my next cohort. Such talent and such wasted skills because we’ve not helped them to evolve the ones needed. We elevate their technical skills & experience; all critical to doing the transactional work. We miss helping them to message their voice and to influence the future. Today, this month, this year is a New Beginning for all who wish to take their career to the next level. Stay tuned for more about the cohort.
Good Advice
“There’s always two leaders in every organization, the ones who have the title and the ones who have the influence. Ideally, we want them to be the same person, but that’s not always the case.”
–John Robertson
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