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Dropinceo > Blog > 2022 > November

Why Do We Need a Holiday to Show Thanks?

As children, we are taught to say “Please” and “Thank you”, show kindness to those less fortunate, and lift up our hearts to a higher being to show our gratitude for the opportunity to create on this earth. While I enjoy gathering with family, enjoying good food, cheer & laughs, I often wonder why the reminder. Now, I know my history for which our ancestors celebrated the harvest with community. It is simply something we should think about everyday; giving thanks to all who come across our path. The title of this article may be a bit counter to the posts we see on social media and the news, but I look at things differently for which I’m grateful for a moment or two of your time. 

Almost every email or social media post, I thank the person for the information they shared with me or something about the conversation we had. When we lead with gratitude, human nature reciprocates much faster than the alternative. In this fast paced environment, this is one of my super tools to get faster responses. 

I was in a meeting recently for which I was new and the leader spent extra time giving me context for the meeting. I did not want to embarrass  the person as I was fully briefed on the issue. Instead, I thanked them for the context, that I was previously briefed and I wanted to yield to those who came to resolve issues and I would catch up with them later to fill in the blanks. The leader was keenly interested in me for which we scheduled a 1-2-1 right after that meeting. Gratitude resulted in faster human connection.

My schedule constantly fills up with networking opportunities for which I often have to delete meetings that don’t serve me at that time. Recently I canceled a meeting due to other priorities, but I thanked the person for their professional relationship and would maintain them in my referral database. While I may not have an immediate need to connect, I’ve shown gratitude for which we maintain the relationship and may be top of mind in the future.

What came easy as a child to show thanks should come easy everyday; not only as humans we have a duty to connect, but in business it can make things so much easier. Unfortunately or fortunately, showing consistent gratitude sets you apart as a leader for which others will follow.

Now take a moment and reflect on your encounters and evaluate how often you express gratitude to others? Could you add 1-2 more each day to build up this skill? What would the next and the next day look like? Would it get easier? And what might the impact be in terms of relationships?

For me, it is paying dividends as people I’ve met over the last 2 years while we don’t engage constantly periodically reach out to me and say “Deb, do you have a moment?”. 

Let me know showing gratitude has been of value to you; and remember we can celebrate Thanksgiving everyday! 

Be well-Deb

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How Curling Insights Can Elevate Your Career Confidence

This past weekend, I had the honor of Skipping a team and we earned the title of “A” Event Runner up. Translation of this meant I was the Captain calling the shots and we came in 2nd out of 12 teams after a 3-1 record. In curling, the positions on the team are Skip (captain calling the shots), Vice (supports the skip), Second and Lead. All four positions are critical; each throwing two stones and also sweeping except for the Skip. I had only Skipped one game this season during league night and I wasn’t fully confident I could lead the team.

My Vice had a pep talk with me before the first game and said “you got this” and proceeded to get me a shot of bourbon for each end of the sheet; believing I needed to relax a little bit. With this “shot” of confidence, we won our first two games earning us a semi-final game and after winning that, we made it to the finals 3-0. On the last day, we were superstitious and kept every thing the same: socks, curling clothes, strategy, and the bourbon shots. We played our game but came up short and later found out the skip on the other team was nationally ranked. We didn’t play differently; simply the other team made more shots than we did. 

While we may have lost the last game, the greater outcome was our team curled well and I gained back my confidence as a Skip. I had thought it was the shot of bourbon each game that helped me to relax and focus on our game. However, it was actually my confidence to play my game, with the talent on my team, maintaining focus on every shot and having my eye on the outcome. We had set our goal very low to win at least one game; never thinking we would make it to the A Event finals. We were thrilled, but really it came down to Confidence and knowing we had the skills to take it all the way.

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There is strategy in curling and I share some additional insights below for you to consider: 

In curling, which is more important????

a) Hitting the Broom

b) How heavy you throw the broom

c) Rotation of the stone

While all are important, aiming for the broom when you release the stone is the most important thing we focus on in curling. After you master that skill, we adjust your weight and how much you rotate the stone to achieve the “curl”. 

How heavy you throw the stone equates to the speed at which you are trying to achieve your goals. While important, it’s not as important as focusing on the goal as sometimes there are bumps in the road that delay the outcome. Don’t get discourage and keep moving forward.

The Rotation of the stone adds the curl of the stone and is the precision that enables it to land in a certain spot either to take out stone or land closest to the button or center of the rings. This equates to you the finesse in your skills; sometimes your years of experience or certifications / degrees. While also important, if you’re not focused on a goal, you may get stagnated when you can’t go any further. You can finesse your way technically, but if it arrives at a wrong location on the rings, you won’t outscore your competition. 

Focus on clearly established goals and hitting the broom will get you further as you improve your throwing weight and rotation. 

If you’d like to learn more about curling, consider visiting  my club’s website and if you are looking for a club near you to try the sport, reach out to me and I’d be happy to guide you. 

For more insights in curling or in your career, consider The Drop In Collective:

Monday November 14th at 5:00 pm ET:

https://buff.ly/3f3GjYU

Tuesday November 15th at 5:00 pm PT:

https://buff.ly/3SGqOno

If you want an invitation let me know and I’ll send you one direct.

Wishing you well and continued success!

-Deb

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How To Change Conflict to a Conversation for Alignment

I avoid conflict like the plague. I grew up as a child having to manage through psychologically unsafe environments from school, community, home and ultimately my work environment. And while I leveraged my superpower to maintain peace, build consensus to be politically correct, it became a weakness when it comes to having Conversations for Alignment.

A close person to me recently said they really want to know what I think for which I briefly unleashed my position on a controversial topics. What ensued was a very positive conversation to bridge the gap between how I was feeling with the person and reaching a new level of understanding. How often do you avoid conflict in your various environments? For leaders, we don’t often have the capability or framework to guide us for which I dedicate this article to you.

Insight: I have developed a conversation map that moves us through a process that ultimately moves a conversation forward to actionable steps for both parties in this tool I offer in my Drop In Collective sessions:

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It moves the conversation from establishing a base for agreement, factually state the gap, seek to understand why there is a gap and agree to take action to close the gap. This is a skill that can easily be honed with practice on someone before going into a real situation.

 In real life: I had a conflict with a peer on a significant quality issue for which I needed their leadership to support their issue, but until then they remained silent. When we met and agreed the quality issue was serious, I soon learned that in previous experience, they never had to bring forth their leadership on such topics; they were handled by a different function. Once I understood the reason for the gap, we set actions and agreed how we would support each other going forward.

I was very nervous going into this situation because I was frustrated and also needed to preserve the relationship as part of a greater outcome. I’m pleased to share that we maintained good relations and from that point forward, I frequently had conversations for alignment and we continually moved forward together. 

Impact: That day, we solved a critical business issue, but we ultimately achieved a better working relationship. Always start from visualizing what we want the ultimate outcome to be. From there we engineer in the tactical steps towards that goal vs. simply the gap at hand. It results in a better long term result. Potential Actions: Do you have a “conflict” for which you need to move forward a conversation? Can you use this tool to help the situation. Can you try it on a friendly person to practice building this new skill? Try it out on someone who you need to close a gap and message me back how it went. I always love to learn what works and if you have an enhancement, let’s build a new tool together!

 Challenge: Does your team struggle with this skill? Can you take this tool and teach them and coach them to get better results. Remember time is money and if you have to keep jumping in, it keeps you from the purposeful work. Do you not have the capacity right now to help your team? Consider leveraging me to do a 30 minute complimentary “lunch & learn” for you to elevate the skills on your team. Message me if interested! 

Wishing you well and continued success!

–Deb Coviello

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