Does the idea of networking make you feel like you ate butterflies for lunch? You’re not alone.
I remember walking into a networking event only knowing a few people, but had a goal of giving out three business cards and introducing myself to as many new people as possible. I wanted to be interesting, say the right things, have a meaningful conversation and have confidence in my presence. Well, 3 out of 4 isn’t bad as I still was not confident in my skin, but that has evolved much over the last few years. It’s never easy, but here are a few tips for you to make it easier.
Making networking easier starts with a framework. They don’t teach it in school nor in business and only a few lucky ones naturally have this skill or they model behavior they’ve seen in their family or in others. One of my sons (and husband) can go into a room and be the center of attention. My other two children have to observe the room before making small talk. We all come from different areas of comfort, but ultimately we need to provide a framework to make it easier for you.
While searching for statistics to validate this problem, I threw it out because there is so much written on this topic, it must be a problem! It is human nature to protect yourself from danger and the unknown. If humans evolved from a place of no fear, they might not exist. We protect our shelter, food, water and environment to assure we have our basic needs met. It is only with society changing over millions of years that needs are met, but our fear of the unknown remains at the core of our minds. It is time to break open that fear and move forward with connecting with the world. Most of the articles I read give you practical tips, but they fail significantly at defining what it means to network.
We are all human and what brings us together is community.
Here are a few tips for networking without the butterflies:
- Smile, look them in the eyes, nod to acknowledge them and as a gesture of kindness and great them the way you want to be greeted and with culture in mind
- Share how you are grateful for the opportunity to attend the event and ask the other person why they are here and what makes it welcoming for them.
- When asked what you do, start with sharing what you love to do and why… this buys you a little time to get into a place where you express how you feel about your work. Then share how you help people, the way you help them and only at the end in what capacity. This is where your 30 seconds of fame come in to make you interesting
- When they ask you to tell you more, give them a one minute about how you’ve enjoyed certain types of work and projects and what was the impact… again making yourself more interesting.
- Always thank them for asking about you personally and professionally; it puts closure to the exchange and you’re seen as a gracious person and making a small impactful moment.
In this process, you are building relationships vs. seeking a transaction. Back in the day, they didn’t exchange business cards, but rather food or other symbols to share gratitude or to build the community. We should consider moving away from the “Networking” terminology and revert back to “Community Building” as the true purpose of why we are connecting with others. When we lift others, we lift ourselves.
What happened after this networking event?
When I was getting ready to leave the network event having handed out 2 business cards, I was then approached by a member of their board. I was asked to join the board because they felt I could make a contribution to the organization. I was grateful for having been asked and realized that building relationships was key to getting a successful networking outcome! I’ve made some great friends in this organization and I’m able to give back to future C-Suite leaders in the process. I have found my community!
If you’re still wondering how to put this to action, I am offering you the C-Suite Academy as my offer to help aspiring c-suite leaders take control of their careers based on my 25+ years of experience of navigating the system and learning what it takes to get into the c-suite.
For more information about C-Suite Academy (CSA) dedicated to the aspiring C-Suite leader, simply register to get on the waitlist, email me or connect with me for a quick chat. I can’t wait to help you be successful and reach your goals!
For more resources, you can listen to The Drop In CEO Podcast or check out my book The CEO’s Compass will help you get on track in days not months.
Resources
Good Reads
Optimism is a Choice and Other Timeless Ideas by Moshe Cohen – I’m grateful to know the author and Moshe Cohen has been an amazing guest on my podcast and Live Talk Media events. He’s so full of optimism and I recommend you follow him also on Linkedin. He’s also the author of Collywobbles: How to Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous. So if you’re nervous about networking, chances are negotiating is an opportunity for you as well.
Good Music
“The Power of Belief” by Phil Larson – so often when faced by fear or concern, we lose our confidence to move forward. This piece – The Power of Belief has a fearful edge, but a steady beat that propels you forward. Taking one step every day towards your goal; once you achieve your goal will realize you were always in control and less fearful of the unknown.
Good Advice
