Several of my students have asked me: “How do I decide if a job or opportunity is right for me?” A few years ago, I struggled with the same issue. I’ve made decisions and later found the job was not right and it quickly came to an end. Later in my career, I was more grounded and made better decisions for which I’m grateful. The process of choosing a new job or approaching any big decision can be heavy with emotion and fear of the future.
You start with the emotional roller coaster. You wonder if you can fulfill the role? You’re excited to share the prospect with others. And then a little thing starts showing up inside of you. You have a sinking feeling in your gut. You try to rationalize these feelings whether good or bad. They can even bring you tears of joy because it’s everything you’ve ever wanted and you feel like you arrived. But in the end you find yourself festering over the details and sometimes paralyzed to make a decision. Emotions wear off and now you’re left with needing better decision making skills.
Values, Needs & Purpose Framework:
When making decisions, I find it easiest to ground myself in the following:
My values – family, rest, service, home cooked meals, community
My needs – financial, health, location, retirement, close to family
My purpose – greater calling or what feeds your soul
It’s important to use this framework and create your own metrics for decision-making – be it a new role or and everyday challenge.
But how do you weigh your choices against this framework? It would be ideal if the choice or opportunity fit all three – values, needs and purpose. When aligned, it’s a green light all the way.
What if your opportunity only checks the box on two of the three? Could you live with it for the short term knowing it satisfies your values, needs or passion in the long term. Then, you might go for it.
I was once faced with a job offer where my values & needs were checked, but not my purpose. I struggled with it, but then I took the high road and said, it was a means to the end in achieving my purpose. – then I can live with the decision. That role led me to my dream job 2 years later.
But what if the role fulfills your needs such as financial, health, location, but it would require violating your values of rest, home cooked meals and it did not fulfill your greater purpose. You could take the role and be successful, but chances are it’s not sustainable.
So if you can’t check the box in all three, for the one you cannot, ask yourself how long are you willing to do without and if only a month, then pass on the opportunity. If you can pause for 2 years, then okay as long as you have a plan to do the work to fill your soul.
This work cannot be done quickly. A disciplined leader has to do a few things in order to move through this:
Pause & reflect – what are you feeling and acknowledge the energy? It’s important because the chemistry between what you’re feeling in your gut, in your heart and your mind are on high alert and you need to acknowledge it. Your body knows when you’re on the precipice of something new. The body needs some time to equilibrate to recognize this is a place of growth and refining your guiding principles for making a decision.
Look at the framework of Values, Needs and Purpose. If you can check the box on 2/3, you’re in a good place as long as you have a plan to fulfill 1/3 down the road.
If you’re only at 1/3, then evaluate how long you can live in that state of imbalance and if less than 6 months, it may not be right and go in a different direction.
Using the Framework to Make a Leadership Decision
Think of your situation.
Can you apply the approach of what are your values, needs and purpose and use that to help you make a decision on a new role or position?
By following this framework you respect the weight of the decisions you’re making while building new leadership skills for future decisions.
For example, the next time you need to hire a team member you can ask yourself the three important questions regarding value, needs, and purpose. Do they have the same values and needs that the business has? Do they express a greater purpose for which they can grow with the organization?
If this makes sense and this insight can be valuable to you and others, I’d love to have a conversation to help you or the communities you serve. I can share my insights through a webinar or speak in person. I can share with you The CEO’s Compass, my book that has many of these insights for C-Suites and Aspiring C-Suites. I also offer you my C-Suite Academy that is to serve the Aspiring C-Suite who wants to take control of their career and get promoted. I’m here to help you achieve your goals.
For more information about C-Suite Academy (CSA) dedicated to the aspiring C-Suite leader, simply register to get on the waitlist, email me or connect with me for a quick chat. I can’t wait to help you be successful and reach your goals!
For more resources, you can listen to The Drop In CEO Podcast or check out my book The CEO’s Compass will help you get on track in days not months.
Resources
Good Reads
This week, I did not have time to read something new. I’m in a place where I’m managing multiple accounts and instead of filling my mind with new insights I decided to give my mind some rest. Sometimes when you rest, more creativity comes through vs. filling it up with new information. Rest is good I keep telling myself and it may be what you need right now for clarity and decision making.
Good Music
NIGHT Part One: Snow – Solo Pianist George Winston – from DECEMBER
George Winston is an artist I discovered many years ago who’s pieces mirror the seasons of the earth, but also parallel seasons of change and decision making. In this piece, it feels like your heart and mind racing which is what you may face with a difficult decision. Discover this artist as it may speak to your soul.
Good Advice
“Most of the issues that we are experiencing throughout our lives are based on that dysfunctional disconnection between emotions and feelings.”
–Dr. Kinga Mnich